September 6, 2012

To All the Executives of a Children's Televison Network:
I want to applaud you and Nickelodeon for the courageous stand you took yesterday against bullying. I am fed up with seeing Presidents and Vice Presidents of major children’s broadcasters getting pushed around by “concerned parents.” I think we all recognize that “concern” is a red herring -- a pretext to excuse bullying. Does anyone believe these parents’ real concern is the loss of their 5 year olds’ innocence? Please. 
A lesser executive would have concluded preserving, as the face of a children’s show, a vicious and uniquely vulgar misogynist who publicly sexually humiliated a cancer survivor, MS victim and soon-to-be First Lady was an untenable position. After Jason Biggs not only made these remarks but went on to taunt those who objected for days afterwards, a woman of lesser character than you would have found another front man she could present as a hero to kindergartners. 
A lesser executive would have been concerned with saving her job or the company’s reputation, but there is a principle at stake here. You can’t put a price on that. Somebody has to teach bullies a lesson, and for that I salute you. 
If Nickelodeon cannot knowingly hire actors who publicly boast about hiring prostitutes to lead the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles without getting run off the air by “concerned parents,” then what did all those soldiers die for? And if sexual assault isn’t hilarious, I don’t know what is.  
With that said, I do have some concerns you might not win this one. I don’t know if you know this, but there’s a war on women going on in this country. 
Did you see the look in Megyn Kelly’s eyes when she reported this story on Fox News? To have a national anchor, Megyn Kelly look into the camera and say "Jason Biggs is a disgusting pig!".  I have never heard her speak that strongly about anything.  I’m not sure she’s going to let this one go. Like Michelle Malkin and Dana Loesch, Kelly has this thing about attractive, respectable, hard-working mothers being subjected to nauseatingly sexist attacks for being non-liberals (I know, right? Take a joke! About your anus…). 
I can understand how you might have misjudged how explosive this would be. This really could have gone either way. Sometimes children’s show stars hire prostitutes, sexually degrade women in political attacks, teach kids about masturbation and anal bleaching on twitter, and ridicule Christians for believing in God, and the whole thing blows over in a couple days. 
My professional advice going forward is to keep doing what you’re doing. While you’re going to have to fire Biggs once Bill O’Reilly takes this up (it’s coming), it’s best to drag it out as much as possible. You want people to know how tough it is to determine where the line is and how thoroughly you appreciate the moral nuances involved here.  
You also want people to know that it was only the fear of losing their money via advertisers that made you do it, not some sort of independent moral decision. This flatters them, and that’s much more important than reassuring them they can trust your moral judgment on behalf of their 5 year olds. 
Also, think of all the publicity you’ll get! If you can hold out until the presidential candidates have to comment on it, TMNJ will be all the talk among every six year old in the country once they hear prostitutes and anal penetration are involved. They’ll be dying to watch the show and see what the fuss is about. Parents won’t be able to stop them. You can’t lose!
You know Jason Biggs and his wife will never stop tweeting vile sexist, boarder line child abuse, vulgar tweets.. They have always done it and will continue no matter what you say to them.
I hope you will do the right thing and right a wrong.
A concerned Husband and Father,