MONDAY, MARCH 05, 2012
Video: Chris Rock Does Comedy Set About President Obama's 50th Birthday Party
The President's big bash was "black heaven," Rock says during appearance at LA club: "Okay, think about this f**king moment: A bunch of black people doing the f**king Dougie in a house that slaves built"...Comedian Chris Rock has worked President Obama'slandmark, top-secret 50th birthday party into his stand-up act. During a surprise performance at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles on February 24th, Rock, in very colorful language, recounted his own impressions and those of fellow guest Jay-Z as they attended the President's August 4th barbeque at the White House, where revelers included Emmitt Smith, Tom Hanks,Steve Harvey, Charles Barkley, Grant Hill, and Whoopi Goldberg, as well as top Administration officials and First Family friends. The party lasted for more than six hours and included performances by Herbie Hancock and Stevie Wonder as well as barefoot dancing in the East Room. (Above: A screenshot from the video)
An audience member at The Comedy Store filmed more than nine minutes of Rock's set: "I felt like I died and went to black heaven, I really did. It was the most unbelievable experience of my life," Rock said of the event, adding that "As the party went on, the sh*t got blacker and blacker."
From what he wore--casual clothes, including shell-toe Adidas ("I'm there looking like Jam Master Jay") --to his realization that he would never be invited to actually perform at the White House, Rock lets it fly in his signature style, using plenty of cuss words. About First Lady Obama, Rock says "f**king Michelle Obama's got a hard f**king job," and notes of the Obama daughters that "f**king Sasha and Malia started doing the Dougie."
The video was posted to RealTalkNY without a transcript, and begins with Rock giving his impressions on how hard the President's task is as the first black Commander in Chief, and the First Lady's Let's Move! campaign.
The party: "The sh*t got blacker and blacker"...
"As the party went on, the sh*t got blacker and blacker," Rock said, though he notes "there were like official white people there, like Geithner and the Vice President." What began as a picnic dinner in the Rose Garden soon got wild, Rock said, thanks to DJ Cassidy:"Then just when I thought it couldn't get no blacker, this motherf**ker played 'Crazy in Love'..."
"Me and Jay looked at each other and we're realized...we're never going to do shows here, man, they're never going to have me," Rock said. "The President's never going to go 'yes, Big Pimpin'...how'd you like that? Yes Big Pimpin' was amazing,...next year Jay's gonna do Money Cash Hoes'...It's never going to happen...let's just be glad we're invited."
Rock had some historic insight, he said:
"You gotta realize the White House is made by slaves, aiight? Okay, think about this f**king moment: A bunch of black people doing the f**king Dougie in a house that slaves built and when you walk around the White House there's nothing but big-ass portraits of Presidents and First Ladies and sh*t...and I look up and see Lincoln with a bloody tear coming out...Kennedy thought it was cool...Clinton got off the picture and was f**king Jackie O in the ass..."
On the night of the President's party, Rock tweeted about it: "Just left the Presidents birthday party at the White House. Herbie Hancock played, Stevie Wonder sang and yes they did the electric slide. A great night" Rock wrote (sic). All the party details, dished by guests, and the guest list ARE HERE.
A partial transcript of Rock's set:
Rock opens by noting that President Obama has "the hardest f**ing job in the world, not just being the President, but being the first black anything sucks," and riffs on other black citizens who were first in their field.
"If you're the first black anything people pissed and shit in your food."
"Obama, man he's really black. He's got a black wife. A real black wife. You can tell she's black, you don't even need a picture, you just need a silhouette. Sh*t, she's black. And she's got a hard job, f**king Michelle Obama's got a hard f**king job."
Let's Move!: According to Rock, Mrs. Obama said "Let me pick the most uncontroversial thing to champion. 'Abortion? No no no I better not it' s too controversial. How about drugs? Get kids off drugs. No no, too controversial. I know what I'll pick...I'll just tell people toe at right. No one can say anything bad about that.' My God, I saw Michelle Obama get booed at a f**king NASCAR rally. It was like f**k you you f**king big-hipped black bitch...telling us what to eat...who the f**k are you? I'm gonna eat fried pork from now on dipped in chocolate, you f**king black bitch..."
"She's trying to give speeches and telling people to eat fruit and she picks up a banana and is like oh shit, who put shit on this banana? Who the f**k? You dirty bastards.."
"So I got invited to Obama's fiftieth birthday party..and I felt like I died and went to black heaven I really did. It was the most unbelievable experience of my life. The invite said dress casually. No suits. So I was like come on..that's bullsh*t, right..I gotta put on a suit and a tie...they're like oh no, no ties..."
"So I'm at the White House with shell-toe Adidas on. I'm there looking like Jam Master Jay"
"It was amazing. It was a barbecue. It's like me, and Jay-Z, and Emmett Smith and Steve Harvey...there were like official white people there, like Geithner and the Vice President..like those kind of white people."
"It was great...me and Jay were talkin' about rich black sh*t...y'know, sh*t only rich black guys can talk about...G-4s a gas guzzler. Y'know...what kind of bodyguards you using now...oooh, Panamanian...I've got some South African guys myself..."
"It was a great party. I mean they had entertainment..." Rock says that as Hancock and Wonder performed together ("f**king amazing"), he and Jay-Z looked at each other, and realized they would never take the stage at the White House.
"Me and Jay looked at each other and we're realized...we're never going to do shows here, man, they're never going to have me, the President's never going to go "yes, Big Pimpin'...how'd you like that? Yes Big Pimpin' was amazing,...next year Jay's gonna do Money Cash Hoes...It's never going to happen...let's just be glad we're invited"
Of DJ Cassidy, Rock says he started by playing "typical wedding sh*t...sh8t for white people and black people...but as the party went on, the sh8t got blacker and blacker..he was creeping that sh*t in...he played "One Nation Under Groove...George Clinton in the White House...what the f**k he played a little bit of 'Chocolate City'..."
"Then just when I thought it couldn't get no blacker, this motherf**ker played 'Crazy in Love'...Beyonce...and then Obamas kids started dancing...they came from outta nowhere and f**king Sasha and Malia started doing the Dougie...I'm like oh sh*t...like it couldn't get no blacker..."
"You gotta realize the white house is made by slaves, aiight? Okay, think about this f**king moment: A bunch of black people doing the fucking Dougie in a hosue that slaves built and when you walk around the White House there's nothing but big ass portarait of Presidents and First Ladies and sh*t..and I look up and see Lincoln with a bloody tear coming out...Kennedy thought it was cool...Clinton got off the picture and was f**king Jackie O in the ass..."
*Video from RealTalkNY